Bitchez be trippin'

I just need to share this story, but I was in McDonalds yesterday getting a burger for my mum and I. Right, and then there’s this guy serving me, couple years older, on the slightly chubbier side of life and not the most attractive boy in the world at all. And he was so nervous and fumbling around when he was talking to me, getting red cheeks, trying to ‘play it cool’ by giving me extra ketchup sachets. It was really quite funny, but really sweet. I don’t know, I just love that feeling when someone gets nervous around you because you’re looking good, or they like the look of you.

idec how arrogant that sounds, but it honestly just makes me feel fabulous. 

huh?

The fact I post on here so often how I feel, and the difficulties in my life, I think really shows just how lonely I am. Or how little I trust any of my friends. Not that they’ll keep something secret, but don’t trust them enough to genuinely care. I think it’s so rare that you can find someone who actively takes and interest in your life and how you are actually feeling. Genuine concern. But not just when you’re down, and clearly need a shoulder, but when you’re happy too. A real friend should care about all of your emotions, not just the bad. Does that make sense? I suppose I not only want someone there to help me when I’m sad, but there to care about my happiness. Someone I can share that happiness with, because that’s when I feel most lonely. Not when I’m crying in my room asleep because of “how awful my life is”. I feel most lonely when I fall asleep with a smile on my face, and that no-one could care less. No-one there to share that good feeling. That youre content and had a lovely day, and gives a damn. That’s when I am most lonely.

Oh, so if you know me personally why don’t you just ask? ;)
But no, doesn’t go to Thurston.

I wanted to tell you all of this on Saturday. Don’t jump to conclusions, but I’m more than happy to talk about it. God this is so idek

Spoilers.

Argh, well I suppose I kind of met up with someone? Not like a date I don’t think, but a “meeting”. Idk. It was all a bit awkward because it was mainly our mums meeting up with each other, and we tagged along because the other was going? What do you even call that?!
Sweet jesus. It doesn’t matter anyway because I’m pretty sure the kid doesn’t like me, so there you go. I have no game. None.

Well then Jamie is a very naïve young man!

I just want to cuddle. I know it’s very soppy, but I just really want to cuddle.

So today was new, haha. Not really sure what to make of anything, so many possibilities, and opportunities. But then again nothing might even come of this and then I’ll feel stupid, but actually that might be for the best? Oh god,  I don’t even know.

I am confused people. So very, very confused.